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2011 Investment Banker Year End Bonuses “In the Mail”

Disclaimer: Like my yuppie car buying guide, this article should be read with an open mind…don’t be a hater!

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It looks like it will be another prosperous year for the 1 Percenters! Investment banker year end holiday bonuses are on their way and by all accounts, except one, it is going to be another year of excess for employees of Bank of America, Citigroup, JPMorgan Chase, Morgan Stanley, US Bank, and Wells Fargo!

The one exception being Goldman Sachs where it is expected the average year end “performance” bonuses will decline 13% this year to a “paltry” $362,862 per its 38,900 employees.

You may recall two years ago, amid a flurry of negative publicity over excessive investment bank executive bonuses, Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein asked employees to refrain from high profile, flashy, or excessive purchases.

Apparently he doesn’t want his employees rubbing their manipulation of investment markets in the face of everyday Joes and Janes!

Well, I think this year it is safe to say that “all bets are off” when it comes to spending! Hey, maybe it will help jump-start the economy!

So, what does one consider a “high profile” purchase when some of these individuals’ base salaries already exceed seven figures?  

You and I might consider a neighbor’s purchase of a $40,000 BMW as flashy, while in other neighborhoods, this purchase may be seen as a “frugal” choice.

After some careful thought, I have compiled a list of what I might buy if I won the investment bank executive employment lottery! 

Just promise me that you won’t tell Mr. Blankfein…

The Bar Harbor, ME “Summer Cottage”

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Forget the Hampton’s!  For over a century, some of the World’s wealthiest and affluent families have called Bar Harbor, ME (and surrounding villages) home during the warm summer months.

Know for it’s gorgeous landscapes, mild weather, and over abundance of outdoor recreation (including Acadia National Park), Bar Harbor, ME is home to some of the most beautiful homes (affectionately called “cottages”) in the world. 

Even though the convenience of modern day travel has opened up the entire world to the ultra-rich,  the bourgeoisie continue to visit this little peace of Heaven on Mount Desrt Island, Maine each year. 

Homes prices here can reach well over $10 Million, and most of these “cottages” are occupied less than two months a year making them the perfect investment vehicles to hide some “hard-earned” bonus money.

The Hinckley Sou’wester 70 Sailboat

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There may is no better way to announce your success as a master manipulator of financial markets than purchasing one of the most impressive, exclusive, and expensive custom sailing yachts ever conceived. 

You can easily spend $7 million (or more) on one of these sailing vessels depending on how carried away you get customizing it. 

Of course, my lack of sailing ability has been well document in my recent article on buying boat, so naturally I would hire a crew to maintain and sail this vessel for me.  I figure this would add another $200,000 a year to the bill!

From the Hinckly Yacht Website:

Critics applauded the Sou’wester 70, designed by Bruce King, for its welcome return to classic lines and to design features that matter most to serious sailors. Significant overhangs, low freeboard, sweeping sheer lines and a gorgeous counter leading to a traditional transom make this ultimate Hinckley a head-turner in any harbor anywhere in the world.

While undeniably a big boat, the Sou’wester 70 sails easily. Whether seated or standing, the helmsman can follow the inner toerail from bow to stern. Excellent seakeeping abilities and the convenience of a shallow draft of 6′ 6″ allow you to sail her anywhere you wish in comfort, safety and distinction.

The best thing about Hinckley Sailboats and Powerboats is they are manufactured in the next town over from Bar Harbor where you now own your summer cottage!  Talk about convenience!  You could spend $20  million of your investment banker bonus without ever leaving Mount Desert Island!

Related Articles:
The Yuppie Guide to Buying a Used Car
Boat Buying Tips
Geothermal Heating and Cooling Systems: The Newest Home Luxury

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{ 1 comment… add one }

  • meka May 7, 2012, 11:04 am

    they are all awesome!
    thanks for sharing :))

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